50 Words of Mike and Personalities
by FountainPenguin
Summary: 51) Loading- That bugged-out look he gets in his eyes when you snap your fingers in front of his nose while knowing full well he isn't all there anymore. (Written November 2013)


**1\. Comfort**

To the best of his knowledge he had never tried something like this before - Vito had been scrappy since the beginning and had never needed it - but Chester himself thought that he had a knack for comforting a child.

"Shh, shh… Calm down there, Mike. Your darn tears are getting my shirt all wet."

"H-how do you know my name?"

 **2\. Keeps**

Little Vito bounced excitedly from foot to foot. "So are we keepin' him? Can we, gramps, can we? I'll be just like his big bro an' I'll take real good care a' him and-"

"Of course we're keeping him, ya salami head!" Chester snapped back, reaching out to tug on a strand of Vito's slick-backed hair. "What, ya think I went and rescued him from being eaten by a darned mind serpent just sos I could go and throw him off a cliff?"

 **3\. Hug**

Vito wrapped his arms around Mike, ignoring Mike's splutters and kicking, until there was a flash of pale golden light and Mike disappeared.

Chester jerked back immediately, while Vito stared down at the empty space in utter shock.

"Ayo, that… that was entirely an accident, gramps! I swear!"

 **4\. Meeting**

"Hey. Hey, you there. Yo- Don't cry." Vito gave his best smile and held out his hand, pulling the sniffling little girl once she had taken hold. "Name's Vito. You are?"

She rubbed her nose against her sleeve and then pushed a fist across her eyes. And then, to Vito's surprise, she smiled a small smile back at him.

"S-Svetlana."

 **5\. Lonely**

"It'll be pretty sweet to have another kid around here." Vito told her, though Svetlana was doing cartwheels as they went and he wasn't sure if she was even listening to him. "Mike can never play for very long, so it's just me an' Chester for the most part. But now I have you too, so I guess I ain't gonna be so lonely anymore."

 **6\. Flip**

"Da! Now vatch as Svetlana does triple flip onto zat funny-looking pillow!"

"Hold on! That's not-"

" _Oof_ \- Hey! Dagnabit! Can't an old-timer get a bit of shut-eye without bein' mobbed by a couple a' kids?"

 **7\. Strange**

"So?" Scolding or not, Svetlana was still bouncing up and down with excitement. "Svetlana meets you, ze boy who has strange hair, and then she meets ze veird old guy who is looking like pillow… Who else is zere dat Svetlana can see?"

Vito frowned. "Whoa, hey- 'Strange hair'? You tryin' a' start somethin' with me, pixie?"

 **8\. Challenge**

"'Pixie'? Hmph! Svetlana thinks zat _you_ are rude meathead!"

"Lipstick-face!"

"Bossy boy!"

"Ribbon-twirler!"

"Flashy show-off!"

"Twinkle toes!"

"Snot-nose!"

"Yeah? Yeah? Well, come at me, bro!"

 **9\. Fighting**

"Chester? Chester? Oh, Vito! I'm back! Uh…" Mike cocked his head to one side. "Who's this? And… what are you two doing?"

"Fighting," hissed Svetlana, scratching her fingernails across Vito's ankle, and Vito, his teeth embedded in the back of her shirt, grunted, "It's big-kid stuff, shorty. Go 'way."

 **10\. Older**

The three of them grew up like children together, and so it was quite a shock to them when, upon meeting Manitoba Smith for the first time, they found that he was so… _old_!

"I mean," Mike whispered to Svetlana later, "he's gotta be… twelve, _at least_!"

 **11\. Stirring**

"There's someone else stirrin' back there," Manitoba told Chester one day as they watched Vito and Svetlana break into one of their usual fights. "Can ya feel him? It shouldn't be too long 'fore he joins the rest of us out here, eh?"

Chester frowned at Vito and Svetlana then, and Manitoba gave a slight smile.

"Ah, don't you worry ol' fella. You take care a' those mites an' I'll be sure an' keep my eye out for the new kid for ya, once he finally shows up."

 **12\. Waiting**

In fact, it was a very, very long time before 'the new kid' ever showed up. He wasn't very friendly, or even very social at all, but Manitoba rather liked to have a challenge.

"Come on out, ya li'l kookaburra." He adjusted his fedora as he crept on. Was that a shadow flashing past his vision over there?

 **13\. Refrigerator**

"Shh, Vito. You're gonna wake up the mean guy who likes to sleep on top of the fridge." Mike kept his back against the wall as he slid through the kitchen, and when he had come close enough he reached out and placed both palms on the refrigerator door.

"Okay, here I go. One… Two…"

Vito hovered uncertainly a few paces away. "Yo, shorty… I really don't think ya should be doin' this."

"Three!" Mike pulsed out his mental energy, and the refrigerator disappeared in an instant, sending Mal slamming to the ground with a yelp and a loud thump. By the time he recovered, the panicked Vito and giggling Mike were already long gone.

 **14\. Chase**

"What the- ?" Mal, though slightly stunned from his fall, flashed up to his feet. "Oh, no you don't- Get back here!"

"Ohhh my gosh- Vito, go faster! The mean guy is gaining on us!"

Vito, though he hadn't yet grown into his full strength, still managed to snatch Mike up into his arms. He glanced back once over his shoulder and gave a little sigh of resignation.

"Y'know shortstuff, sometimes I just really, really hate ya."

 **15\. Wail**

"Chester!" Mike wailed when he saw the older man up ahead. He pointed a finger behind him without really looking. "The mean guy is being mean to us again!"

 **16\. Skid**

 _Oh, snap- Not the cane again!_ thought Mal as he skidded to an abrupt halt.

 **17\. Threat**

Chester had said cane above his head, and he waved it around at random as he spoke.

"Ya punk! Why, back in my day, we didn't have anyone goin' around chasin' down innocent kids and the like!"

Mike and Vito had both taken shelter behind the old man, but as Mal began to back away, Mike poked his head from behind Chester's back and stuck his tongue out at him.

Innocent kids, indeed. Mal found the comment doubly offensive seeing as he was hardly more than a kid himself, but this time he wisely decided to back off.

 **18\. Healing**

"Ow! Ya darn electric fan! Why, back in _my_ day-"

"Here, let me take a look." Mike wrapped his hands around Chester's fingers and closed his eyes. There was a brief golden glow at his fingertips, and then he pulled away. "There, is that any better? I told you I could fix it."

"… Huh. Well, I'll be darned."

 **19\. Abuse**

"Abused by my parents?" Mike repeated, slowly sounding out each word. He frowned at Chester and rubbed the back of his neck. "But… but I don't remember any of that."

Vito smacked him hard on the back of the shoulder, sending Mike tumbling to the ground with a yelp. "Yeah, that's 'cuz ya went and dumped most a' those memories on Vito, ya nitwit!"

 **20\. Dominance**

"Oh yeah? And why should we have ta listen a' you, pipsqueak?"

Mike was standing on the table, his arms outstretched. He had a rather annoyed look on his face too.

"Because it's _my_ body. And also, because I can do this." Mike waved his hand and a water balloon appeared in his fingers. In an instant Vito was soaking wet and spluttering.

 **21\. Refusal**

From his place in the doorway, Mal shook his head in disgust as he saw Svetlana, Chester, Vito, and Manitoba all fawning over Mike.

 _But you won't catch me doing that. I refuse to bow to such an arrogant, undeserving king. What has he ever done for_ me?

 **22\. Helmet**

Though it did make Mike feel a little uncomfortable to be taking his shirt off in front of his therapist, he did so anyway with a resigned sigh.

The next thing he knew, he was lying on his back in the grass in the park, he had a motorcycle helmet resting beside him, and there were fifty fewer dollars in his wallet.

"Vito, are you kidding me? I don't even _own_ a motorcycle!"

A bit of a burning sensation in the back of his mind suggested that Vito was saying something along the lines of _That is a problem I can easily correct._

 **23\. Choice**

A day or so later, as pencils scribbled across paper all around him, Mike found that he had a difficult choice to make. Should he take the chance to ace his Russian test (assuming that Svetlana would cooperate this time) and risk the mayhem she could cause if she stayed out Topside longer than he'd expected?

 **24\. Thief**

"Out!" Svetlana roared. A pan crashed to the ground. "Get out of Svetlana's kitchen, you savage thief!"

He bolted into the hallway, narrowly avoiding the spatula she hurled just past his ear, and sprinted down the corridor. A single gingerbread man slipped from his fingers, and he scooped it up again without pause. If anyone had been watching, they would have noticed the smug little smile that curved around Mal's face.

 _Totally worth it._

 **25\. Social**

 _I don't have a social phobia,_ Mal told himself as he watched the others from one of his favorite places on top of the chandelier. Absently he crumpled up the remains of his apple peel and let it fall so that it bounced off of Vito's head. His hair was too full of gel for him to notice, and he continued to argue with Svetlana across the card table. _I just prefer watching and listening over aimless babbling, that's all._

 **26\. Painting**

The huge painting on the wall had been of Mike, but as he watched, the paper fluttered over to reveal a new face- One so very similar and yet different at the same time.

Svetlana.

"Oh, that can't be good," Chester muttered, not even looking up from his crossword puzzle.

Mike's mouth went dry. "What… what does that mean?"

Vito shrugged. "Well, for one thing, it means twinkle toes ain't gonna be here ta stop me from muchin' down on the rest a' these here bacon-bit cookies."

 **27\. Frenemy**

"Bacon-bit cookies," Mike repeated, not sure whether to be amused or disgusted by the idea, and Vito let out a wistful sigh.

"Yeah, that broad. She always knows what Vito likes, ayo."

This prompted Mike to raise one eyebrow. "Yesterday she tackled you just for saying hello to her, and the day before that she tried to cut off all of your hair. And before that she hid your lucky shark-tooth necklace, and then you punched her in the face and she whacked you on the head with Chester's cane."

Vito merely smiled, lost somewhere in his memories. "Yeah, that broad…"

 **28\. Hospital**

Svetlana awoke lying in a hospital bed with a young boy standing over her. He had a heavy set of bandages around his head, as well as a few encircling his wrist. A grin split his face when she opened her eyes, but he said nothing.

Svetlana hated lying in bed, so she rolled up to her feet and stretched.

"Why is Svetlana vearing dis silly gown?" she grumbled to herself, and tore it off. No one could perform gymnastics like that- Not easily, not even her! So once she had removed it she wandered over, opened the window, and stuck one leg through it.

"Uh," said the blond boy, "Where exactly are you going?"

"Avay. Where does it look like Svetlana is going? Da moon? Ha!"

 **29\. Desperate**

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Time out! 'Taking my place'? 'Total control'? Summon _me_ at random, if at all? But that's not possible, is it? She'll have to crash sometime, right? Too-Much-Topside syndrome- That's what Manitoba calls it, right? I'll get back in control in just a few more minutes, just like usual. Right?"

In reply, Chester and Vito simply pointed to the huge portrait of Svetlana's face.

Mike licked his lips. "Aw, no…"

 **30\. Shirt**

Vito liked to keep his shirt off, for whatever reason, and there had been quite a few instances where Svetlana had been summoned directly after him. Being a girl trapped inside of a boy's body, she had never before been bothered by the idea of not wearing her shirt. And she'd never really been that into fashion to begin with, simply preferring to go along with whatever Mike liked to wear. They were like one and the same, after all.

 **31\. Inconvenience**

Climbing down the side of a building? Bah, that was nothing!

Doing it in the winter, however, hardly dressed and in the snow, not too long after this body had been pegged in the head with a cinderblock…

"No!" she wailed when two nurses with long black hair pulled her out of the snowbank where she had fallen. "Svetlana vill not be captured! No! No!"

 **32\. Juice**

Mal opened the fridge, narrowing his eyes when he saw that someone had stocked it completely full of grape juice. He hated grape juice, but Mike didn't, which was probably the reason why it was there in the first place. There wasn't even any fruit in the fridge- simply rows and rows of grape juice.

Mal shut the fridge and closed his eyes, trying to imagine that when he opened it he would find _orange_ juice instead, and perhaps a green apple.

And, while he was wishing, a cardboard box and a pair of gardening shears would be nice too.

 **33\. Buddies**

It turned out that the name of the blond boy was Jacob, and he seemed like quite the sweet little thing. Though Svetlana had been confined to the hospital again, she and Jacob more than once snuck out of their ward for late-night raids to the vending machines down the hall, usually with her flipping her way past the hospital staff and he running after her, giggling like mad.

 **34\. Milk**

Seeing Mal out and about in the mindrealm was a rare sight, and so when he burst into the TV room like a whirlwind, it caused Mike, Manitoba, and even Vito to all duck behind Chester.

"All right, who here is the wise guy who left the milk sitting out on the counter all night?"

Mal threw down the milk carton and left in a huff without waiting for an answer, and Manitoba glanced curiously Mike's way.

"Oi- Don't he know that ya can just imagine him up a new one?"

 **35\. Wasteful**

Mike did imagine up a new milk carton, just to prove that he could.

"You'd better be careful about how you're wasting your powers like that, young man," Chester scolded.

Mike shrugged, ignoring the comment, and drank the milk from the carton. Manitoba looked at Vito and slowly shook his head.

"Old timer here's got a point. Makes y'alot weaker, y'know. 'Tis how Svetlana gained so much control in the first place, I'd reckon. And one day you'll lose 'em all, of course, and then where'll ya be, eh?"

 **36\. Complicated**

"Are you really a girl?" Jacob asked her somewhat suspiciously as Svetlana attempted to insert a quarter into the vending machine. "Because you're really weird."

"Yes, Svetlana is a girl, but is a very complicated thing. Svetlana likes to think zat she has all ze natural strength of a boy combined vith all ze agility of a girl." She frowned at the quarter in her hand. "Dis is not working. Here, zilly boy- Svetlana is letting you try it."

 **37\. Shortest**

"I'm not the shortest one," Mal snapped back, elbowing Manitoba in the chest as he turned away. "I only happen to look that way because of my hair."

"Tell me about it," muttered Vito as he took a sip from his soda and Chester, who stood hunched over in the doorway, only rolled his eyes.

 **38\. Honor**

Svetlana pushed Jacob around the other side of the vending machine, swallowing hard as the hospital staff closed in around them.

"Vell, zilly boy, it has been an honor. Now you be good and stay here- Svetlana vill not be going down vithout a fight! Hi-ya!"

 **39\. Again**

Mal was sleeping on top of the refrigerator again, which Mike noticed when he came to snag one of the chocolate-chip cookies Svetlana had left behind. In passing, Mike ran his hand along the refrigerator door and pulsed energy out through his fingertips. Then he bolted off, trying to smother his laughter, as the fridge suddenly disappeared beneath Mal and sent him crashing to the floor.

Some things just never change.

 **40\. Farewell**

The hospital had decided to send Svetlana home, but just before she left she took Jacob's face in her hands and planted a quick kiss on his lips.

"Take care, zilly boy. You be good vithout Svetlana, hmm?"

"Ah, ah," stammered Jacob, a faint blush coming over his cheeks. It made Svetlana smile, and she gave him one last little kiss before spinning around and cartwheeling away down the hall. Mike never had to know.

 **41\. Frantic**

Mike was growing frantic now.

"It's been more than seven days already! That's the longest anyone has ever gone before without stopping- Including _me_! She has to crash soon!"

"Not without first gettin' another blow to the head, I don't think, mate," Manitoba replied, examining his fingernails. "Shame ya weakened yourself with all a' that flashy imagination witchcraft earlier on, ain't it?"

 **42\. Message**

For whatever reason, Mike discovered the message written out on the card table in chocolate frosting.

 _Mike-_

 _I have yet to come across any pencils in this world, so find some way to get me some or I will chop off all your hair and sprinkle it in your breakfast._

 _Without love, The Malevolent One_

 **43\. Calculate**

First the hospital, and then the school.

"Da! I teach you children how to perform mid-air pike triple-twist flip!"

While the other children laughed hysterically, Mrs. Brown said, "Not while we're learning math, Mike…"

"Oh, but zis _is_ math. See, Svetlana is needing to calculate every angle precisely or be risking serious injury! Is fun, no?"

 **44\. Drawing**

Mike knew that he shouldn't have, but he giggled as he looked over Mal's shoulder.

"Wow, is that thing supposed to be me tied to a chair, or a rhinoceros?"

"I'm a writer," Mal had retorted, raising his shoulders defensively around his ears. "Not an artist. And this would be so much easier if you hadn't left me with _crayons_."

 **45\. Soccer**

Recess was a little better, though. Svetlana even managed to scamper up the tree on the playground and survey her domain before someone from below pegged her hard with a soccer ball. Her head slammed against the tree trunk with a loud _crack!_ and she lost consciousness.

 **46\. Heights**

Occasionally, like when Chester was napping, Mal had vanished somewhere into hiding, "Mike"'s shirt had been left on, Svetlana was finally suffering from her crash of Too-Much-Topside syndrome, and Mike was struggling with another one of his dizzy spells brought on by Svetlana finally suffering from her crash of Too-Much-Topside syndrome, Manitoba awoke in control without his fedora on.

"What in tarnation? Why am I sittin' up here in a tree like this?"

Up… in a…

"S-Svetlana! Oh, this ain't funny, sheila! I-I'm terrified a' heights! Oh, baby. . ."

 **47\. Prayer**

So he was an adventurer afraid of heights. Big deal.

Manitoba said a silent prayer begging Mike to forgive him for doing this, and then tore off his shirt. If anyone other than Svetlana was going to get down from this tree, then it was going to be Vito.

 **48\. Horror**

"You did _what_? Manitoba, you _know_ he's not allowed to come out at school anymore after that last incident with the art class! They _still_ won't let me live that down!"

"I stand by my decision," Manitoba sniffed, but his face grew more anxious with each passing second. "How much damage can one li'l kookaburra do up Topside anyway, eh?"

 **49\. Tooth**

For some reason, Mike's mouth felt a little colder than usual when he finally came to. He tongued at his lip and then, more horrified now, poked at the space with a finger. Then he gave a loud groan.

"Oh come on, you guys! That was a _permanent_ tooth! Aw, no…"

 **50\. Normal**

Somewhere in the depths of Mike's mind, Vito was flipping through channels on the TV while Svetlana passed out cookies, Chester played Go-Fish with Manitoba, and Mal sat quietly and unnoticeably in his place on the chandelier far above them, a hefty supply of gingerbread men in his arms.

"I gotta 'fess up though, sheila," Manitoba told Svetlana with a laugh, "His ol' mug does look a lot better framed up there on the wall'n yours did."

So things were back to normal again. Or about as normal as they would ever get around here.


End file.
